Monday, April 27, 2009

My job makes me socially retarded. It's medically proven.

I was reading about social anxiety on Wikipedia and came across this fun fact.

Erethism or erethism mercurialis is a symptom complex of mercury poisoning, presenting with excessive shyness, timidity and social phobia. This was common among hat makers of old England who used mercury to stabilize the wool in a process called felting. The phrase mad as a hatter is likely a reference to mercury poisoning. The character the Mad Hatter in Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland is often believed to be an example of someone suffering from erethism.

Sunday, April 12, 2009


I didn't expect Easter Sunday to mean anything this year. I'm not religious at all. In previous years I used it as an excuse to throw an ironic dinner party (ie, 'Jesus is a Zombie Party' of 2007). This year, my family was spending the weekend at my brother's house in North Carolina and I had no plans whatsoever.

Easter morning I was tired and slightly hungover from going out the night before. I was laying in bed unsure what to do with my day and suddenly I was overwhelmed with this awful feeling and it took me a moment to recognize what it was. I was lonely.

The loneliness seemed so sudden, out of nowhere. I sat in my room for a long time, listening to music a little too loud. I smiled at myself when this song came on and I realized that, at thirty years old, I still identify with Smiths lyrics and still default to being a hermit.


I've decided to force myself out of the house more. Something always happens, never quite as I imagined, but usually good. That's the magic of serendipity. Happy, unexpected things. Like taking myself out to breakfast that Easter morning and deciding to get a meal "for here" instead of "to go." And sitting alone by the window, sipping coffee, suddenly inspired to write poems about birds on the back of my grocery list. And then glancing out the window and spotting old friends walking down the sidewalk. And then running outside to invite them to sit with me. You can't plan these kinds of things. You just show up and let them happen.

I bought myself a raspberry Charlotte and a new journal to celebrate my non-denominational it-just-so-happens-to-be-Easter resurrection. I glued my bird poems on page one and ate the Charlotte in bed with a fork.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

I went to a show all by myself tonight because of this song.

My friend Todd sent me this song. He said, "I could totally see this happening to you."

How cute is this?
Freezepop's "Duct Tape My Heart"

I was feeling sad and lonely

and my heart was torn in two
I went out to see a show
that's the night that I met you

You're so dreamy, you're so sweet
swept completely off my feet
You duct-taped my heart back together
I think that this could last
I know that this will last forever
you duct-taped my heart back together

Sunday, April 5, 2009

New Day, New Time, New Name

I changed the name of my radioshow to "Between The Bars."
Wednesdays 10pm-12am, starting April 15th.
Listen online or on the radio at 91.9fm.

I'm alternating weeks with "Tragic Carpet Ride" so if you don't find me, tune in the following week.