Monday, October 26, 2009

On babies and being awesome

From one of my twitter peeps, I heard of this amazing blog called My Parents Were Awesome. It's concept is very simple. An ongoing collection of photos submitted by random folks of their parents when they were young. Fashion recycled so many times that it's hard to tell if they're vintage 70's 80's people or just hipsters. Maybe they look just as they were at the time -- young couples.

Still, the title gets me. My parents WERE awesome. Once were. Long ago. Like awesome only happens when you're young. And once you're a parent, you become old and boring and no longer awesome. I think about my parents and wonder, were they awesome? Did they experience awesomeness then one day decide, That's enough, let's procreate? When my parents were my age they'd already been married for several years with a baby boy. Maybe that's when their lives stopped and became all about the kids.

I'm not saying all parents are lame. What I am saying is at 30 years old, I am still single, still in school, and still have anxiety dreams about my mother. That's not exactly what I want to be when I grow up. Not even close.

- - - - -

I went to a big nitride semiconductor conference in Korea last week. During our trip, one of my co-workers starting teasing me about being 30 and still single. But being away from home for a while gave me some perspective, and I realized several things:
  1. I'm not doing that bad.
  2. There is life after grad school.
  3. There is life outside of Santa Barbara.
It's hard to imagine grad school ever ends. I never liked the idea of leaving SB. Work hasn't exactly been my passion in life, so giving up my life and friends here always seemed like too big of sacrifice. But what I realized this week is this-- Work's the best thing I got going for me. I traveled this far to get a PhD, I might as well see where it leads. Maybe love, marriage and children will come eventually. Whatever road I'm on, maybe it's a little longer yet.