The issue has been raised at the OKcupid forums, to wink or not to wink. The consensus seems to believe winks are a lame way to contact someone. This comment explains it nicely:
- I ignore winks 99% of the time, because even if I reply to them with one word, I already put in way more effort into the conversation than the person who just clicked a button. It screams "boring" and "lazy" to me.
- Winking is good. It saves you time from writing stuff to someone who may not be interested at all. If they wink back then start the discussion.