"Will you get me a Slurpee if I give you a blow job?"

If you're on Twitter, you follow Kelly Oxford, right?

kellyoxford
Women throw up when they're pregnant because nothing is grosser than a human growing inside of you.

kellyoxford
Seriously guys, there's no way Madonna still gets her period. 

I'm pretty sure she's so good at twitter that she's managing to make a career out of it. (Yes! It can happen!) She's working with CBS on a tv pilot about her life as a stay-at-home mom. She was even recently interviewed on Carson Daly. (Is that even noteworthy?  I was just surprised that he was still around.)

Kelly also wrote an article for GQ magazine, out this month.  It's called "Quid Pro Fellatio" aka Sex Trade, all about using sex as a bartering tool to spice up your love life. I love this!

...When I see a father at the water park with three young children and no mother in sight, I no longer think, "What a cool dad" or "How sad—widowed so young." Instead I think, "That guy's getting fucked for hours tonight." 

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