Stalker alert.

It has been brought to my attention that I simply provide too much information in my online dating profiles. A few details about my job and hobbies, and after some clever Googling, my potential suitors are easily lifting my email address from my research group's website. Let's just say I am not a fan of being directly contacted via my school email address. Of course, it's all my fault for being so approachable. On the internet. Yep.  Simply having a profile on an online dating website means I'm desperate and asking to be stalked. /sarcasm

Allow me to introduce stalker number one of two (the first one is a long story), J. Apparently we have a lot in common, such graduate school, music, and The Big Lebowski. He saw my Chemistry.com profile before I deleted my account, and after discovering my profile disappeared, decided to email me at my personal email address instead, shown below.

I realize the line between romantic and creepy can be quite thin but to me this falls in the creepy category. Yet he seems to do a pretty good job convincing himself he's just being "totally random."

I hope he accepts my non-reply to mean: "YES, I AM APPREHENSIVE ABOUT JUMPING RIGHT IN."

-------- Original Message --------

Subject: Hello miss Kate!
Date: Fri, 04 Jun 2010 00:48:54 -0700

who am i? yes, i'm getting to that.

My name is John, and one evening I was bored at the computer (shocking, I know). I am a returning student at UCSB and have the awkward opportunity of being older than most of the student population, and possiblely one of my teachers...yeah. At any rate, this led to a curiousity in finding other folks in the area that might be in the same boat. SO I randomly created a profile at chemistry.com (lightbulb!). I saw your profile 15min later and was comforted there does exist other aging music/science/hipsters, though your standing is much more distinguished than mine.

I only saw your profile once, and the next day it was gone. Consequently, it was the last time i went on the site. I did recall you had a show on KCSB, found the slot (show with your name definately helped, true story), and tuned in. Part of me was stoked because it was an amazing set, the other half kinda bummed because now i can't have a show! it would be almost the same thing! As awful as it is, i do make judgements based on people's musical tastes and I would very much like to hang out with you sometime.

Oh right, you'd probably want to know more about me. i have an old myspace (i know) that is up to date until about a year ago i think myspace.com/xxx*. Yay Lebowski! And i think i had some twitter quips goin until oct last year (under "xxx" i believe) Currently, my life has been shrunk into the San Clemente housing boxes next to campus.

I realize this is totally random and understand any apprehension about jumping right in, so feel free to write back with a "sooo what's your favorite fruit?" and we'll go from there. Have a good weekend, hopefully hear from you sometime.

ps-its pineapple, think of something else

* [ed note: vague Big Lebowski reference]

Why do these lonely, long-winded types always use so many parenthetical comments? (I mean, really?)

I expect a follow-up email when he stumbles across this post, so I'll be sure to update when that happens.   Unless he manages to chop me into pieces in the meantime! LOL. (No, seriously, tell mom I loved her.)